No More
by xYaoiGirlx
Summary: Quatre's no longer willing to fight. Will it be Duo or Trowa who rekindles his need to protect again? *hints of 4+3 for now*


Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing; I'm simply using the characters for my and my muse's entertainment.  
  
No More by Yaoi Girl

A shrill noise resounded through the neat and quiet room shortly after the sun had began to rise.

The bed had been unused the night before, the sheets, blankets, and pillows still flat and inviting to a weary body, but the supposed-to-be occupant of that comfortable and inviting bed sit balled up in a semi-darkened corner of his room.

Blonde hair was mused and slightly tangled, aqua eyes staring into nothingness as the side of his head rested on his knees, which were tightly drawn to his chest and held in place.

After about the third time the shrill note rang through the room, he blinked slowly, only moving his chin to rest on his knees, seemingly still ignoring the noise as he continued to stare off into space.

The noise continued for another three minutes or so before the blonde was on his feet and slowly treading towards his computer.

'Please…no more missions…'

The missions from his past were still haunting him two years later, after everything had ended. He dreaded the day that a new threat would emerge, so he locked himself in his room, barely eating or sleeping, blocking the world from his exhausted body.

Hesitantly, he reached for the enter key, his finger hovering over it for a moment before he lowered his hand and pressed it, staring sadly at the screen.

"I thought you weren't there; I was just about to give up."

The dullness in his aqua eyes lessened somewhat as he assessed the boy on the screen before him.

Dazzling emerald eyes, long brown hair, the lack of facial expressions, but his eyes said everything he felt, and Quatre was the only person who could understand what he was really trying to say.

"Trowa…"

They regarded each other for a few moments before Quatre's eyes darkened somewhat.

"Why did you call?"

"It's been a while since we talked. I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing."

"You're such a lair. You'd never call me just for that unless there was something else."

"Quatre…"

"If it's a new mission or anything that has to deal with saving the Earth or outer space, and most of all, the Gundams, count me out," he said, averting his gaze away from the screen.

"You're not the Quatre I used to know. You never turned down a mission that had to do with saving something, so why are you starting now?"

"Because I'm tired of knowing that I've killed people, people that have families and were just protecting them, making a living to help support their families. I know what it's like to have family taken away. It hurts, so much, Trowa, that I don't think you could ever understand. You've been raised to kill, to shed blood without a second thought, but I can't stand the nightmares that haunt me every minute of everyday of the people I've killed…"

"I understand that you don't want to fight. But you know, we'll just have to find someone to replace you. We can't afford to have a blank spot, not now. Not being by your side will be hard to deal with, because we've been a team since the beginning. And that new person will have to be trained to kill, just like me. But I don't think that person will ever have their heart and mind opened like you did with me…"

Tears welled up in the blonde's eyes, not wanting to hear another word of his friend's lecture. He turned his head sadly away and closed the communication log.

He knew that they would have to replace him if he didn't want to fight, and he knew that it would never be the same without him. But Quatre simply could no longer live with what he had done.

Tired, though fearing the nightmares that he knew were going to plague him, he slowly crossed the room and crawled onto the bed and under the covers, his head sinking deep into the pillow as his eyes fluttered shut and the blood came pouring down around him.

Not long after he had fallen asleep, Quatre sat upright with a jolt, someone having touched him, though not in his dream.

Catching his breath and clutching his chest, he turned his wide eyes to the room's new occupant.

Sympathetic amethyst eyes stared back at him. "I heard you screaming from outside. I thought I'd come check on you and make sure everything was alright."

Quatre couldn't lie to Duo and tell him everything was ok, so he spilled his heart to the braided boy, telling him about his nightmares, how he didn't want to fight anymore and feared the day that he would eventually be forced to, and about Trowa.

"Why did he only contact you? As far as I know, I didn't get an e-mail or anything from him. I'll check with Heero and Wufei later and see if he got a hold of them. You just lay back down and take it easy," Duo said, placing a cold washcloth against Quatre's heated forehead. "You're gonna make yourself sick if you don't calm down and try to get some rest. I know it's hard, but the nightmares will go away with time."

Quatre closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the breath out slowly. "It's not just the nightmares of mangled metal and bloodshed. It's Trowa…"

Duo smiled softly. "You tired so hard to tell him before he left, too. I thought for sure he understood what you were trying to tell him without words, because I knew. But he didn't, and before anything else could be done, he was gone."

"It was so hard facing him today when he called. I can't believe how in love I still am with him, even after he left two years ago and neither of us had any form of communication or contact until now. I wish I could've told him then that I love him, but I'm so afraid. Even though I'm no longer willing to fight, he is, and he's willing to protect me. And those are the nightmares that scare me the most, the ones of Trowa fighting and something goes terribly wrong, and I never have the chance to tell him anything, because he's gone…he's dead," Quatre said, wiping the moisture from his sleepy eyes.

Duo, for once, didn't have anything to say, or at least anything that would help the blonde feel better, so he pulled the blankets over Quatre's slightly shaking form, closed the blinds all the way, so no light could get in and bother the boy.

"I hope you feel better soon, Q," Duo said as he closed the door, the blonde now fast asleep, the nightmares eluding him for the time being.

TBC

I watched Endless Waltz a little bit ago and couldn't help but come up with this, even though it's been forever and a half since I wrote even a chapter to a GW story. I don't know if I should make it a Duo/Quatre pairing, or Trowa/Quatre. What do you think?


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